- ass could use some work....
- November 30th, 2010
sure i have an ass, some would say large, but not large enough. not in comparison to the people with the nice thick asses. i hate being another teen with a ton of body issues. how is it that i can be kinda curvy and yet not curvy enough? because the curves i have are nothing in comparison to what i want. maybe some (no offense) white people would call me curvy, but that isn't the curvy i want. i want thick. not just "fit" or "athletic" or whatever. whats the point of getting into shape if you can't even have your dream body, if you just have to accept the body you hate? im gonna have to resort to FUCKING ENHANCEMENT PILLS or FUCKING SURGERY if nothing changes. im not the type that just accepts the things about myself that i hate cuz its supposedly "unique" or whatever. why is it that other people can have an amazing body they always wanted and i have to work my ass off and take on a ton of stress just to find myself beautiful??? and i REFUSE to accept myself as beautiful the way i am. i am not beautiful the way i am, at least not in my mind. i have GOALS to fulfill, unlike other people, and i can't fulfill my goals looking like that. i HATE accepting 2nd or 3rd place just cuz i have to. i've been doing that shit my whole life and im tired of it. why couldn't i just be born with what i wanted or just get it overnight like the other lucky ass bitches (no offense-just venting). why can't I choose my uniqueness? i want to be soft, feminine looking, fertile looking, curvaceous, beautiful. people already think my personality is manly. i don't wanna have a manly personality and a manly figure, i wanna at least have a feminine figure so people can know that no matter how manly i am, im still a true woman. and no, exercise doesn't fix it, it just tones and firms, im not concerned with firming right now. im concerned with growing T & A. i do not think its that beautiful to just be slightly curvy, cuz when you stand next to a truly curvy (but not too curvy) person, you may as well be completely flat cuz no one wants to look at that. if someone can love themselves looking like that, more power to them. but i refuse to be happy with being a step away from AWESOME. i have to reach my ideal of awesome or else im just a failure, like with everything else. and i change my ideals for no one except God. and no, this isn't peer pressure or the media taking a toll on me, it's mainly just me wanting what to fulfill my dream and freaking out cuz im not there yet, and its almost at the point as to where im fully grown, therefore i have almost no chance of my body getting the way i want if i look the same by next year. then ill have to take those damn pills or save up for some retarded ass surgery. im 17 years old, this is pretty much the time when a girl stops developing. and if thats the case for me (which it seems to be) im shit out of luck besides taking pills or something. ARRRRGHHH FML sosososososososooooooo much. complete FAIL.